Fish Drama

Most people know that I am, to put it mildly, a cat person. I have a few theories as to why I am this way:

1 - When I was very young we babysat my neighbor's dog, Sparky. Said dog nipped me on the thumb and scarred me for life. The only reasonable response would be to love Sparky's natural enemy.

2 - I ate cat food as a kid. What do you expect? It was on the floor and I am a creature of opportunity.

3 - My parents took me to a museum and a genetically altered cat bit me and I became a cat man.

4 - Because cats are better than dogs (yeah, I said it!)

I also am a fish person. Aquariums are cost money and take up room - two things that are not in abundance 'round these parts. This past summer I found a nifty hanging fish bowl on amazon and before I knew what was happening my subconscious took over and the rest is history. That can be said for a lot of my amazon purchases!

Alpha - July 2011

We named the Betta fish Alpha, har har har. He was a good fish until about two weeks ago when he decided to die. The next day we replaced him with another Betta fish (Beta/Bravo...we never got that far) who also took the cowards way out and died within three hours.

Now, I'm not a fish n00b. I've had many aquariums in my life - 20 gallon, 10 gallon, 5 gallon...odd. They appear to get smaller as time passed. Regardless, I know what I am doing when it comes to fish. Therefore, my only conclusion was the water where I am currently residing is dumb.

I took the unnamed carcass back to Wal-Mart for a refund. Have you noticed how small the North Logan Wal-Mart's fish section has become? Probably because it was a joke and Petsmart was dominating them on sales. After getting our money back we went to Petsmart and picked out a new Beta/Bravo (still haven't decided). He has been hanging out in the cup we purchased him in because I am none too eager to place him into the bowl and watch the poor thing die.

Tomorrow will be the day of days for our little fishy. Be strong, future Beta/Bravo!

PS - Cast your vote to the right and influence what I will be blogging about next :D

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

A part of me hates changes. I like routine. I like knowing exactly what is going to happen. I have a set idea of what I'd like to do on a given day and if someone wants me to alter that schedule - watch out!

Yet, a part of me loves changes. New places, new people, new experiences. Just give me time to warm up to the idea of making a change, please!

Jessica has a new job.
I'm attending school.
We moved back to Logan.

These are the big changes that have occurred within the past few months. I haven't the time to go into detail about them right now. I am currently in the computer lab on campus (I should be in Ballam's class) and we haven't hooked up the internet at our place yet. Therefore, my time is limited.

I plan on writing here more often and updating the way this blog looks!

Love and Tolerance

I am continually astonished by the myriad ways in people justify themselves for their bigotry. Love between people of the same sex is wrong because "God" says so. Black people aren't real people. Muslims are all terrorists. Poor people are lazy. Cat people are poor, old, and wear gingham. In my research, and in my limited lifetime, I've come to the conclusion that people are people. No matter what age, race, or circumstances, some people handle things like heroes and some people hurt other people. It's just how it is.

So I get tires of hearing people's prejudiced remarks. To me, prejudice, is just another tool of self-aggradndizment. We hate others to make ourselves better than them. We also hate what we don't understand and consequently fear. I guess I can understand that. My problem is when we refuse to even try to understand.

My parents, bless them, (love you guys!) will never be able to understand my dicision to leave the church because they don't want to understand. They won't ever listen. They're scared that if they open their minds to what I'm trying to say to them, that they too will lose their faith. I'm inclined to agree with them on that. It's a tough situation. At least I have my Aaron to lean on. As far as spitituality, we aren't exactly on the same page but we agree when it comes to the LDS church and that is enough for now.

I love you so much, baby! Everything I d,o every day, is for you, for us. I hope you notice it. :) My sweetheart, we'll get through this together, and keep on lovin'!

Gastritis

I was three weeks out of the hospital when I began to experience reapeated diarrhea and nausea. I thought maybe it had something to do with running out of my probiotic I usually take, but then I woke up one morning vomiting. I couldn't stop. I went to my doctor who told me something was wrong with my stomach and to head to the ER if I continued to throw up. The danger was dehydration. I went the next morning at 5:30 am and was admitted with severe dehydration. It took several days to get to a place where my nausea and pain were controlled enough to send me home. An endoscopy was perfomed which diagnosed the gastrits. The pictures showed a red, swollen, and ugly stomach lining. I was put on Karafate. My doctor calls it the "bandaid" since it coats the stomach giving it the space it needs from food and medicine to heal.

It's going to take time, however. I'm still on Karafate and will be for a while. I'm also being tested for siliac's diesease and/or gluten intolerance. I was on a gluten free diet for a while but I'm off of it now. I plan to resume the diet after the gastritis has healed some more. What with the diet and the week in the hospital not eating, I've lost nearly fifteen pounds so that's a silver lining. My sweet husband was my rock, supporting me and loving me despite all our fears. So thanks, Aaron. I love you!

No Spinning!

This past weekend was one of the most relaxing experiences in my life. Jessica and I went to a Dutch Over Dinner at a friend's house and had a blast. Made new friends, laughed with old friends and just...expressed ourselves. I opened up about a few things that had been on my mind for some months and doing so felt great. Maybe I'll talk about it in a later post.

Why was the weekend relaxing? What did we have to relax from? Jessica went to the hospital again. Another four day/three night adventure. My baby told those doctors what's up and refused treatment she didn't want. I'm so proud of her! A big change from the woman I knew when we were still newlyweds. Turns out she had gastritis. I saw the pictures of her stomach and it wasn't very pretty.

The experience was quite stressful on both of us. Once again I will let my lovely wife do all the talking about her hospital visit.

This is going to be a short one. I have to go to work soon and later at 2:45 tonight....HARRY POTTER!

A Fragile Mass of Nerves Continued

When Marilyn, my wonderful mother-in-law had that second aneurysm, we stayed most of the night at the hospital with all of Aaron's brothers and sisters and their spouses, as well as some of the older grandchildren. We made quite a crowd in the waiting room. The surgeon who came to tell us the (favorable!) result of Marilyn's surgery said he felt intimidated talking to such a large group. :) A few hours later the incredible stress and fear I had been feeling caught up to me and I succumbed to an IBS attack. I had to spend the following day and night at my brother and sister-in-law's home while I recovered.

The following evening I began bleeding even though I shouldn't have started for another week. I called my doctor who said it was likely the result of the previous few days' stress. Except it didn't stop. On day twenty-eight other symptoms surfaced. I began to throw up. Aaron will tell you that nausea is my kryptonite and he's right. I was miserable. On the advice of our doctors we went to the ER who then promptly told us that there was little they could do and to go see my OBGYN (the same one who sent me to the ER). Frustrated and getting worse, we saw a colleague of my OBGYN's (since she just couldn't squeeze me in herself) and he prescribed a high dose of progesterone to stop the bleeding which would then, hopefully, clear up the nausea and vomiting as well. We left his office and went straight to the ER where they finally admitted me.

I was in the hospital for four days. On day two I was given a shot of that large amount of progesterone and, sure enough, the bleeding slowed and then stopped. The nausea took a little longer but I finally was able to go home. Now my body is struggling to gain some sort of equilibrium, vacillating between diarrhea and constipation. Mornings are especially bad. I'm hoping that by eating right and taking my medicines, my body will eventually stabilize itself, but until then I'm a less than scintillating companion for my Aaron. There. Two months of hell spelled out.

As for Marilyn, she's still pretty weak herself, and often confused about what is going on around her. It's really hard to see. My heart just breaks for my husband because, knowing how much I love her and knowing that his love for her is twenty times my own, this is hitting him hard. He wasn't kidding when he said she was the glue that holds us all together. Her approval, her support, her advice are very important to all of us. She is special. She stands out from those around her because of her wisdom and charity. I think if anyone wants to know what it is to love unconditionally, talk to Marilyn. She'll teach you. And she'll love you. No matter what.

A fragile mass of nerves

The human brain.

The past two months have been a complete nightmare.

On April 23 my mom had "the worst headache [she'd] ever had" and threw up a few times. Some of my sisters took her to the ER and the doctors there suspected an aneurysm and she was whisked via life flight to Murray.

Jessica and I pulled up right as the helicopter was about to take off. One of the hospital employees had to jump in front of the car to get us to stop and then hold me back from running up to the helicopter. I wanted to see my mommy!

We all drove down the Murrary with questions tumbling through our minds. Her helicopter hit a bird on the way there, putting a hole in the windshield and forcing them to make and emergency landing at the SLC airport.

Tests, test and more tests. The doctors couldn't find where the bleed was happening. Days passed.  A week passed and boom, a full on aneurysm. This time the doctors were able to go into her brain and find the bleed and repair it. This was a scary time.

Towards the middle of May Mom was allowed to come home. She's not the same as she was before - obviously - though she is making baby steps. The woman gave birth to 9 kids naturally without pain medication (I was the only one she had pain free :D ), raised ten kids and several grandkids. She's a fighter. Seeing her laid up and fragile is quite shocking. We are all used to seeing Dad sick or injured. Not Mom. She's the glue that holds us together!

My heart aches for those of you who have had a loved one with dementia. I visisted Mom in the CCU and she didn't seem to remember me, which shook me to the core. I can only imagine the pain of having a loved one never remember anything about you.

Shortly after Mom came home Jessica became sick. I'll let her talk about that.